I could go on and on about the ‘science’ behind worrying what others think of us, but there is one really good trick anyone can use to feel less worried and more empowered. All you need to do, is ask yourself what advice you would give to your best friend if they came to you with the problem or dilemma you are currently facing. Don’t have a best friend? No problem! Just conjure one up, or recall a friend you had in the past. Or think of a beloved family member…
Now we all know how difficult it can be to live life according to our own good advice. We can dish it out, but somehow it’s really difficult to let ourselves off the hook and do what we feel is acceptable right down in the pit of our stomachs. Our heart is calling to us to give everyone involved a break and not come down too hard. To be human, and therefore wonderfully flawed. But we’re so worried what others will think that we steam roll over these heart-centered bits of advice and carry on, sabotaging our own happiness and making ourselves feel miserable.
Giving yourself the advice you would give to your best friend is a fantastic trick because it forces us to think beyond the judgemental and critical part of us which tells us what a bad person we must be. It makes us reach out with affection and love, instead of beating ourselves on the head with our own ‘bad’ behaviour.
There is a saying which goes something like this: Once we know better, we do better.
Basically, we’re human, and we make mistakes, and mistakes help to keep us heading in the right direction by showing us what happens when act in certain ways. Simple! Mistakes, flaws, imperfections etc. are all part of what makes us human, and should be embraced, not swept under the carpet.
So bring a dear friend or relative to mind. Imagine that they are facing the dilemma that you are now facing. Think of what advice you would give, but instead, give it to yourself. Own your mistakes and embrace them, letting yourself off the hook and experiencing that wonderful relief which comes when someone says to you: “you’re OK just as you are”. Because you are, you know. You can take my word for it.
Bye for now x