I am so often conflicted about how I should feel in situations where people have annoyed or upset me. As much as I realise my emotions are real and perfectly valid, I am also aware that the person in question:
a) is just an imperfect human being, same as me
b) probably has their own ‘stuff’ going on
c) didn’t deliberately set out to upset me…
The list could easily go on. Excuses as to why I have no right to feel hard done by, and shouldn’t think anything of it.
Thing is, if you feel angry, you feel angry, and trying to suppress that isn’t going to help anyone. A world where everyone was always just OK and never expressed any of their negative emotions towards anyone or anything would be very stifling indeed. Not a lot would ever change because we wouldn’t allow ourselves to acknowledge our need to move on from a particular friendship or situation.
And unless we deal with our negative emotions, they never really go away. They just get buried, only to pop out in unexpected places! This, I tell myself, is why people I encounter in the supermarket can sometimes be so aggressive and mean. They’re maybe in a bad home situation, and aren’t able to express how they feel in their day-to-day lives.
So, I am going to take my own advice, and allow myself to feel angry. Without going in to any of the details, I have a tendency to allow myself to get walked over, and right now I am feeling like I have been treated very poorly – albeit unintentionally.
I need to keep my emotions under control less, and express myself more. I need to let people know how I’m really feeling, instead of pretending that I’m OK all the time. I need to be authentic and honest and allow myself to live life in a way that feels good to me. None of this means that I have to start treating people badly – it just means that I wish to put myself in a situation where others aren’t able to take advantage of my good nature.
If I don’t start to express the full rainbow of my emotions, I might find that my good nature runs out, and I grow into a miserable old woman who shakes her stick at passers-by. And I cannot tell you how much I don’t want to be that person!
Thanks for reading.
Bye for now x