Is it any wonder that I failed to speak my truth growing up?
So much to say, but no one to hear me – including myself.
I learnt to be silent
I learnt to value the opinions of others above my own
I never learnt how to be an ‘I’
No sense of self
No space to freely explore and express who I am
And oh so much fear
Insecurity reigned, like an evil queen.
Always too scared to discover what’s on the inside
Too frightened to let anyone in
Have I ever truly let someone in?
And felt that true connection with someone I love?
There have definitely been moments: tiny sparks that burned bright but fizzled out all too soon.
But that inner-wiring exists nonetheless
I am hardwired for connection; we all are.
But first I must connect with myself, daring to lift the lid and see what’s inside.
I’m sure that what I see won’t all be good or perfect
But who wants to be good and perfect anyway?!
I will see – have seen – kindness, that’s for sure.
Oh yes, there is a giant heart beating inside my chest.
A heart that so desperately wants to reach out and touch the hearts of others
But first I must heal my relationship with my self
Then I will have much to share with the world
Then I will feel peace and joy
Then I will know that I have found my way home